Kisame Sensei
by Nani-Rez
Summary: The Hokage has decided not to put Kakashi as team 7's sensei. So who does he decide to send? None other than a former S rank criminal shark-man, Kisame Hoshigaki! AU Kisame never joins Akatsuki in this story.
1. Prologue

A/N: Well this is my first fanfic so please don't be harsh if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes.

This is just one Kisame story out of thousands that I have in my head, I picked this one by random to write down and show to you just to test my writing abilities. SO PLEASE ENJOY! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto-sama does.

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"This apartment belongs to Naruto Uzumaki, since he will be on the team that you will be leading you'll need to get a impression of what you will be in for..." As Sandaime Hokage said this he looked around the one room apartment. "... And that impression must be that he's clumsy and unpredictable but don't let that fool you, he might act like a attention seeker... which is true but he has the heart of a true Konoha shinobi, the Will of Fire burns strongly in him."

Sandaime then turned to the 13 year old's new sensei. "You should be able to learn a lot from him about what it is to feel the fire, specially since you're new to the ways of Konohagakure, Kisame Hoshigaki."

In repose, Kisame only chuckled, "Kheh, still trying to rid me of my **bad** habits, eh Hiruzen-san?"

Kisame had been inducted as a Konoha jyonin 2 months ago. Before then he was a S rank criminal running from Kirigakure for crimes against its country that included rebellion and assassinations, one of which was a Daimyo. He never liked his home country because of the way it had treated him when he was younger, those Kiri bastards only think of people as tools. When he was in the 'Kiri no Shinobigatana Nananin Shū', he had realised this and gone berserk.

For a while he enjoyed the life of a missing-nin, however he found that there was nobody to talk to and thus got bored very quickly. For you see, even though Kisame was a bloodthirsty killer, he was a **talkative** bloodthirsty killer, he loves to talk about his kills, his sword Samehada, his times in the 'Kiri no Shinobigatana Nananin Shū' and a lot more.

Kisame figured that he should join the most friendliest and talkative ninja village, Konohagakure.

All he had to do to gain access to the village was to give info of Kiri's doings, secrets, power and so on. To his surprise, the Hokage and the elders agreed to this and allowed him to be a Konoha jyonin with no punishment. The reason why was due to Samehada's ability to eat chakra, perfect for subduing the Kyuubi's chakra that was sealed inside Naruto.

The exact reason for them to pick him as Naruto's sensei.

The Hokage started to walk casually to the door to leave, as he was opening the creaking door he spoke to Kisame with his back still towards him.

"Naruto is very dear to me, he wants attention from the people in Konoha and wants to show them that he is not just some demon but a strong ninja with a human heart. I want him to be as strong as you are Kisame but I **don't** want him to be as bloodthirsty as you however."

Kisame only chuckled at that statement.

"You and him have had very similar childhoods, so you should understand him more than others. I wish you the best of luck Kisame Hoshigaki... Oh and by the way, its Hokage-sama to you." And with that he closed the door behind him and left the shark-man alone in Naruto apartment.

_'Kheh, I see that he still doesn't trust me but oh well, better be off now to see my new team... and crush their spirits kheh heh he'_ And with that thought the blue man disappeared in a poof of smoke.

A/N: Well I don't know if I should carry on or not since it was my first fanfic.

Please review! :) hope you enjoy this prologue, might create more chapter if people like this, so for now its a one-shot unless you say so! ;)

See ya for now readers!

Nani-Rez out.

'Kiri no Shinobigatana Nananin Shū'- The Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist.


	2. Sensei and Students

A/N: Well I'm back guys! Here's another chapter of Kisame-Sensei.

First of all... WOW, I never though people would like this story that much! Now on to the next issue... Parings. I'm not going to focus on any paring individually (Please don't accuse me of being an anti-paring person A: I dislike those fools. And B: I'm a devoted NaruSaku fan myself) but I will try to follow the canon parings just like Kishimoto-sama would in the real manga (EG; _Sakura likes Sasuke but Sasuke gets annoyed by Sakura's fan girl behaviour, Naruto likes Sakura but she ignores his affection cuz of Sasuke etc_). I am thinking on Kisame however.

Before I forget, THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS EVERYONE!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto-sama does.

**Bold= Inner Sakura, Kyuubi**

_Italic= thoughts_

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At the Konoha ninja academy, three newly graduated genins were left inside one of the classrooms waiting for their Sensei to show up. Originally their was thirty three genins in the classroom but one by one their Senseis came and took them away, after ten minutes, only a spiky blonde boy, a pink haired girl and a raven haired boy were left waiting...

That was three hours ago...

"Where the fuck is Sensei? Three hours and still no sign?" shouted the orange jumpsuit wearing genin, Naruto Uzumaki

"Cut it out Naruto! He probably got stuck with something important, you have to remember that he is a high ranking jyonin. He might be on a short mission or something." loudly explained the pink haired konoichi, Sakura Haruno.

Naruto had his head peering outside the door to look out for their Sensei while Sakura was standing 8 feet behind Naruto, facing his direction with her hands on her hips. It was then that Naruto decided to prank their late Sensei.

Seeing that Iruka had left the keys to the classroom on the front desk, Naruto quickly pick them up and went and locked the classroom door.

"HA! This is what Sensei deserves for being late!"

"Naruto you baka!" shouted Sakura crossing her arms. "I'm not going to be apart of your antics!"

**'I love stuff like this!' Inner Sakura screamed.**

It was at this moment that the third member of the team, the raven haired Sasuke Uchiha, decided to speak up. "Hmph, just because you locked the class door doesn't mean he can't get in dobe. No way could a superior ninja be fooled by a locked door." the Uchiha boy pointed out.

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Team 7's new Sensei, Kisame Hoshigaki, began walking down hallway to the classroom where his new team were. He had been told by the Hokage to look around only ONE of his students homes but Kisame thought otherwise, although now he wished he hadn't now. Not only was he 3 hours late but he had found out something in which he hadn't wished for.

He had a snoop around the Uchiha compound, Kisame had hoped to find death and destruction still lingering in the compound (old habits die hard you see) but to his disappointment, there was no demolished houses with decaying skeletons, just dull empty homes that could make any cheerful soul become a lonely, brooding soul. A part of the Uchiha's personality, it seems to Kisame. Kisame then figured that the Uchiha kid could also have prideful and semi-arrogant attitudes because A: he was from the 'prestigious' Uchiha clan and B: being the so called 'last Uchiha' would only increase these these attitudes ten fold.

This was nothing new for Kisame, for in Kiri there was a lot of orphans with such arrogance and pride that it could put the Daimyo of Mizu no Kuni to shame. But it was not the Uchiha brat that gave him a slight panic attack. It was the female member, Sakura Haruno that did.

It wasn't because she was a little girl or the fact that her forehead was roughly a bigger size than his hand and Kisame has big hands, no it was only when invited into the little pink crayon's room by the flat chested mother crayon did he realise what she really was.

Sakura was a fanatic fan girl.

Kisame and fan girls DO NOT MIX. (A/N: No offence to the Kisame fan girls)

You might not think it but Kiri's academy, however brutal it is, has its fair share of fan girls and like the ones in Konoha, they were destructive. What's even worst is that the ones Kiri used Kisame in their complements (in a bad way) and insults nearly ALL the time. Things like:

"He's not an ugly mother fucker like Kisame!" That one was when a newbie came to the classroom.

"What's black and blue and smells like poop? Kisame! Hahaha!" A common academy rhyme among his classmates.

"Hell no! No way would I go on a date with you, Kisame! Zabuza-kun is the only one for me! Even if I have to pummel the other girls to death!... After all, you are strangely coloured, Kisame-baka." That one was from when Kisame tried to ask a girl from his class out on a date. This experience is what made Kisame dislike fan girls. (A/N: Again, no offence to Kisame fan girls)

Ohhhhhh was Kisame going to make this little girl's ninja life brutal...

The Shark-man was nearing the classroom, smiling away at thoughts of this new team of his.

_'The Kyuubi brat should be very interesting to observe and that Uchiha snob, although in normal circumstances would be dull as a rock, would be humorous to see him interact with his exact opposite, Kheh heh heh! And I'm shaking in anticipation to torment that little pink horror of a fan girl, Khe-'_ Kisame's thoughts were broken however by his bandaged companion on his back.

"Gi Gi Gi Gi Gi" Spoke the sentient greatsword, Samehada.

"Hm? What is it Samehada?" Questioned Kisame. Unlike previous owners of Samehada, Kisame like to have conversations with the terrifying sword, a habit which made witnesses believe he had gone insane. Until they heard the roar of Samehada that is.

"Gi Gi Ki Pi Gi Gi... Mi Gi Gi" Answered the sentient greatsword.

"So you can still recognise the Kyuubi's chakra even after a hundred and thirty years, eh?... Looks like your not going senile YET Samehada, kheh, heh, heh." Teased the Shark-man.

"Gi! Gi! Gi!" Samehada did not like it when Kisame teased it about its age.

"Sorry Samehada, anyway we're here now... time for some fun, Kheh heh heh!" Kisame happily chuckled with his new future right behind the door in front of him.

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Naruto heard the footsteps stop right in front of the door.

"_Finally he's here! Lets see how he likes a looked door 'tebayo!" _thought the knucklehead genin as he awaited the sound of foul words and curses.

But non came though...

Both Naruto and Sakura got confused at this, while Sasuke just went "hmph".

"What the hell?" Screamed Naruto. He jumped over to the door and pressed his ear next to the door.

"Kheh, heh, heh..." was all he heard.

"There is someone behin-" Naruto didn't get to finish as a hand burst through the door and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair.

Then the hand preceded to continuously smash Naruto's head into the door lock.

After a full minute of head banging, the lock broke. The hand let go of the bruised genin's hair and then began to waved at the other two in the classroom.

"_What the? That hand is blue... What kind of freak do I have as a Sensei?" _Sasuke thought as Naruto collapsed onto the floor holding his damaged face while going "ow, ow, ow". Sakura was to shocked to notice the unusually coloured hand waving at them.

A few moments later the hand went back through the hole in the door and opened the damaged door.

Their Sensei had arrive.

The years to come are gonna be the most brutal and challenging that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke will face... Not to mention humorous!

NEXT CHAPTER:

New Teams and New Tests.

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A/N: Here it is! :)

Really, really, really sorry for making people wait for the chapter and sorry that this chapter has no action in it (apart from the face smashing), there will be action in the next one. :)

The reason for the delay is that I was thinking up a plot to Kisame Sensei and now I've finally got one for it, it should easer for me to write it now. Oh and before I forget, I thinking on making this story a Kisame harem (I know, first time ever for Kisame...) and I would like to know what your thoughts are on this (I will NOT be putting any of the genin girls into this harem, this includes Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Temari or anyone else from that age group, because to me that is a bit disturbing for Kisame). NO YAOI EITHER!

Please review good readers! ;)

Baka= idiot

Kiri= mist

'tebayo= Naruto's catchphrase (I am not saying believe it- SHIT I SAID IT! NOOOOOOOOO!)

Daimyo= Feudal lord

Mizu no Kuni= Land of water

If you want some spoilers to the story then look below to see 'em. Nani-Rez out.

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Spoliers:

-Kisame is going to fight every Akatsuki member, that means he will fight Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Tobi/Madara, Konan and Pain.

-Kisame Sensei will follow the _Naruto_ series plot until after the chunin exams, from there on it will be my plot.

-There will be a character death in this story but that wont be until the last chapter.

-Final spoiler: Sasuke isn't going to join Orochimaru but might still become a missing-nin.


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